Posts Tagged ‘Italian’

[Cover of Engagement Card given to us by Fox Feature Post Production.]


Hey, when it comes to hooking up with a gal overseas, there are a lot of cons, but it has an upside as well. For example…

“Will you marry me?  YOU WILL? Say, that’s just great!  Wow, look at the time. Gotta catch a plane. See ya next year!”

(I’m kidding. Stefi reads this blog, you know.)

“When’s the big day?”  We’re clueless on this question. Not that we’re being lazy, but the US Government has a process that makes answering this question impossible at this time.  Here’s how it seems to be going down…

1.Stefi and I apply for a Fiancé Visa after Thanksgiving. (Can’t apply for this visa and visit the US as a tourist at the same time.)

2.We wait For eight damn months to hear, “Yes”or “No”.

3.During this time, Stefi has to get a series of shots, just to make sure she doesn’t infect the West Coast of the United States of America with Ebola. You understand.

4.While Stefi receives painful injections, Greg sits at home watching old episodes of “Law & Order” and eating Taco flavored Doritos.

5.Visa is approved. Stef now has 3 months to move to the US.

6.Stef arrives in the US, we now have 3 months to jump the broom!

7. OPTION 1: We procrastinate and don’t get married in time. A bunch of Republicans toss a crate onto my lawn and shoot at it with handguns, thus venting it with “air holes”. They then ship Stefi’s butt on a slow boat back to Italy.

8.OPTION 2: Stef and I get married the minute she lands in LA, at a court house, just to get Lou Dobbs off of our backs.

9.We then have a proper wedding in Milan. (maybe? Whatever she wants. Stefi’s day)

10.  Cleveland Reception with ribs and kick ball (MY day, damn it!)

11. Weird faux joke wedding/reception in Los Angeles.

Now, how simple is that?  Time for us to meet in Ohio so she can meet the family. Red Eye flight for me tonight. I get in Saturday morning, Stef arrives later that night!

Be good, Cleveland.


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The guy wearing cop glasses is me, Greg. The dish in the cool specs is my beautiful fiancé, Stefania, who lives in Milan, Italy…  For now!

November 19, 2009

This is my first blog entry and it has nothing to do with “Reflections On The Lake”. That was the title that came with my iWeb template and I was too lazy to try to come up with anything better.  Plus the picture above was snapped above Lake Como, so it kind of works. Whatever. Screw you.

The last time I kept a blog I ended up with a pretty decent start to a manuscript, which I just finished last Saturday. So I thought I’d capitalize on my next adventure (getting married) by blogging about it, as well.  I figure if all hell breaks loose I’ll at least get some decent literary material out of it and maybe make some dough.

So let’s get the obvious bullshit out of the way…

She’s white. I’m black.

She’s Italian. I’m American.

She from Milan. I’m from Cleveland.

She’s relatively sane. I root for the Browns.

She’s hot. I’m engaged to somebody who is hot.

My life is a CBS sitcom. All I need is a job at UPS and I’m set. In the upcoming episode, Greg n’ Stefi fly to Cleveland for Thanksgiving so she can meet the family and old friends; and they can meet her. It’s all very exciting and absolutely terrifying at the same time, like having sex with Ann Coulter.


At some point during my proposal to Stef, I told her that she would either marry me or she’d end up handcuffed to a water pipe in my parents basement. Either way, she wasn’t going anywhere. She wisely chose the former. However I thought it might be a good idea to show her that water pipe anyway, just for grins and to keep her azz in check. Hence, the trip to Cleveland.

(Jus’ kidding, honey!)

Since we have to deal with the US Government to obtain a Fiancé Visa (something I fear will become a large part of this blog) we’ve got at least a good year ahead of us before we actually get hitched, so this blog won’t be going away anytime soon. Unless she wises up and dumps me, at which point this would become a blog of pure unadulterated vitriol and rage. So it’s win / win.

This is not going to be an easy transition, especially for Stefi, who is giving up the most.  It would be easier for both of us to find someone closer, at least in the same country, so we are obviously very much stupidly in love to go through all this.  And wouldn’t have it any other way.

Feel free to subscribe and read up on us. Should be fun. If you don’t subscribe, go pound sand. See if I care.

Here we go! 

Unbreakable ~ Alicia Keys

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