Archive for May, 2010

Back in the day, during a brief window of insanity, Richard Pryor was given his own prime time TV show on NBC, opposite Happy Days. It was short lived, lasting only four episodes…

Folks back in 1977 weren’t ready for Richard on prime time and judging by the current climate I’m not so sure we’d be ready for him now.

I wasn’t allowed to watch it. Not because of its racy content, but because I was being punished for all manner of hell raising. For the four brief episodes of the show’s existence I was imprisoned within my room, forced to listen to the laughter of my family, wafting up through my floorboards.

Eventually I caught the show courtesy of pop’s VHS deck. My favorite skit was “The Reverend James L. White”. Pryor played a ostentatious TV preacher trying to raise money for his church, volunteers manning the phone bank behind him, which was all dead quiet. The show wasn’t bringing in a cent.

The good reverend then slyly notes that problem has to do with the fact that most of his donations come from minorities from all around the word, and even though there are a lot of them, they didn’t have as much money as ONE rich white person. It was at this point that he declared that the night’s donations were solely for the B.T.A.M…

“The Back To Africa Movement.”

The phone bank fucking explodes.

Donations from white people all around the country pour in as if he just announced a cure for short dick. It was classic. I rolled.

Thinking about this skit reminds me of the current Tea Party Movement and how there is just as much anger and fear in the white community today as there was back in the 70’s. In fact, the atmosphere is arguably worse since there’s an “African” in the White House. This uppity negro President who invades Tea Party member’s living rooms every night, accompanied by commentary which details his nefarious socialist plan of taking guns out of their hands, murdering grandmothers with death panels and IRS and Census agents bursting down their doors to steal their coffee cans full of rainy day dough.

I could get depressed about this nonsense, but frankly I’d rather cash in on it!

That’s right, Uncle Jerry! I’m buying in, yo!

By the way, Swamp Dogg is my Uncle, not by blood, but my pop grew up with him back in the day back in Norfolk, VA. Dude is as cool as the other side of the pillow. Seriously, look at the damn album cover. Did you look at it?  Damn right.

But I digress…

Here’s the deal, I’m sure Stef would love to stay in Italy close to her family. And I wouldn’t mind spending some time there and picking up the language. Okay, it’s not all the way to Africa, but you could spit from Italy and hit Tunisia. Throw a rock and ya hit Tripoli. So I figure I’d be meeting the Tea Partiers more than half way. Hell! It’s almost 99% all the way there!

So I’ve linked this blog onto some Tea Party and White Power sites. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna speak to them for a second…


Hey you surly bastards!

I’m going to let you in on a little secret… Glenn Beck is right. This election of Obama was a Socialist / Nazi / Communist / Pacifist / Wig Party / NAMBLA / AFC West conspiracy to take over the United States of American. You got us. Seriously, can’t get anything past you guys.

I admire your fight, but can I make a suggestion?

Spending all that dough on Mid-Term elections… Tsk. Tsk. To what end? To merely regain power within the House? Come on! That’s just a band-aid solution. Wouldn’t it better to just get rid of Obama and his Obamaphiles all-together? My suggestion? Your money is better spent shipping all us black progressive liberals away to a place that actually embraces our silly beliefs, like affordable health care.

Ship all us bourgie negroes back across the Atlantic.

I propose you start by floating a test balloon and see where the wind takes it, using me as a guinea pig, of course. Take that money you’d waste on all those goddamn Lipton tea bags, danglin’ from your hats like old man balls, and instead buy me a one way ticket to Italy. Stef and I would also require a posh living allowance for, say, two years.

I know, I know, that seems extravagant, but what you’re buying is propaganda gold!

Show the American Black Bourgeois set video of me sipping espresso in my spacious apartment off the banks of the Navigli river and watch all of those HBCU graduatin’, sushi eatin’, well speakin’, uppity negroes move the hell out of Baldwin Hills and hit the slow boat (Carnival) to shores of the Old Worlde.

I’ll go on Fox News and wax poetic about how grateful I am to the Tea Party for funding my move out of the country. Glenn and I will cry together, split screen, over a satellite feed.

“Thank you, Mr. Beck. Thank you Tea Party.”

Before you know it the USA will begin to look like 50’s television, except for the Mexicans. However with the black voting block gone I’m sure you’ll have that problem licked before ya can say Jan Brewer. Errrrrrrrrrr! I mean Jack Robinson.

So to the Tea Party, the NRA, and all the wonderful followers of Rand Paul, let’s work together to gentrify this once great country. Below is a Pay Pal link to help fund my move to Europe. Spend your money to help make America for Americans… Again.

Click early and Click often, folks.

Click Here And Donate If You’re A Racist Jerk!

I miss the 70’s.  And that’s, as I like to say, the gist of it.

Richard’s Awesome Reverend Skit On Youtube.

Swamp Dogg’s Awesome Music On Youtube


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